The Christmas Dog Madness
In a small village lived an old man who sat alone by the fireplace every Christmas, since his family lived far away. This year, he decided to get a dog so he wouldn’t feel so lonely.
On December 24th, he went to the shelter and picked out a shaggy, lazy old dog with dreadlocks that nobody wanted. He took him home, fed him, and named him Rudi.
The old man went to bed early that night, but at two in the morning he woke up to strange noises. Down in the living room, Rudi was humping the Christmas tree: the dog had gone at it full force, jumped on it, thrusting away while ornaments flew everywhere and the string of lights flashing around his neck.
The old man stumbled downstairs, but Rudi kept going in ecstasy until one huge thrust knocked the old man’s dusty old whiskey bottle off the shelf above the fireplace. The bottle fell, popped open, and the whiskey spilled nicely across the floor. Rudi immediately stopped “loving” the tree, rushed over, and happily lapped up every drop of the whiskey – clearly that tasted better to him than the Christmas excitement.
But he didn’t stop there. With drunken energy he dashed into the kitchen, jumped up on the table, and found the old man’s secret Christmas “energy powder” – a hefty pile of cocaine – that he kept as a memento from his old rock ’n’ roll days. Rudi licked that up in seconds too, and then he completely lost it: eyes bulging, tail spinning like a helicopter.
Then there was a knock at the door. The old man opened it – and there stood a sexy Santa girl: her red Santa outfit barely covered anything, long thigh-high stockings, deep cleavage, and in her hand she was slowly, sensually licking a big, juicy steak.
“Merry Christmas, big boy!” she winked – but Rudi was already there, staring at the meat with gleaming eyes. The Santa girl laughed, crouched down, and held out the steak: “Here you go, you little beast, I brought this for you!”
Rudi snatched it happily and bolted off to the corner with it. The old man just stood there stunned, while the Santa girl shrugged: “Your dog called me here. Somehow… I felt his desires.”
The next morning the old man woke up to an empty house: Rudi had vanished with the Santa girl, leaving only a note on the table: “Thanks for the coke and the whiskey. Next year bring bigger portions! Ho-ho-ho!”
Since then, every Christmas the old man sits alone – but he always prepares the whiskey, the cocaine, and an extra-large steak in advance. Just in case.
id: polonkaid
