My uncle Phil decided this was the year he'd hand-carve the turkey. He spent twenty minutes dramatically sharpening the knife and giving us a lecture on "The Geometry of the Bird." Then, when he finally went for the first slice, he completely missed the turkey and successfully cut the entire power cord off the electric carving knife, plunging the whole dining room into darkness. We ate by the light of a single, highly suspicious scented candle while Phil loudly claimed it was "mood lighting" and wrestled with the turkey using a plastic spoon.
DATHYTYY
