Being unmoved by others in chat

[blueprints]

I always wonder why people online let themselves get upset over something someone says or does online. To me It is just people online, they are not that significant in my life. Only times I see how someone should get upset with someone else is when there is somewhat of a real connection and relationship where trust and care is mutually exchanged, which i think is possible to develop! 

That leads to my next point. With how unpredictable and uncertain someones genuineness is due to lack of body language, expressions, and tone, I do not think these kind relationships should be made just carelessly or frequently. Not because you cant or dont want to or dont like the person but because its simply not wise to invest yourself with a person you have not personally met. To give power to people online over your mood or feelings is irrational. Im not saying dont be friendly or talk to anyone, im just saying have boundaries and dont let people get too close especially when you havent met them in person. 

I think if you have this kind of mindset then it literally wont matter what people write in the chatroom. If you avoid making yourself vulnerable by choosing carefully who and when to befriend someone and start caring, then you will be as unmoved and steadfast as a mountain. Only the words people i care about will have a significant impact on me, but if your not one of those people then dont bother trying to tell me what you think and feel towards me XD You'd be wasting your time. 

I use to think i should be friends with everyone! But after a couple counseling sessions i learned that I needed boundaries and ever since Ive been getting better at avoiding alot of pain and heartbreak with people, as well as cutting off negative influences, Though I cant cut off people/friends im close with(so im kinda forced to work through things) , I can avoid getting close with people that could have a bad influence (change me) and/or distract me from focusing on the relationships that matter the most to me. I dont want to be the person who ends up with nobody because every one turned out to be fake and then regret not having spent time with friends that really cared. 

But people online that you dont even know or met? Pfft there should not be a word they can write that should have enough weight to move a hair on your head. 

[williamshennie9]

We are all anonymous here. If you let the comments of someone offend you in a community like this, you need to re-assess your priorities in life. People easily comment negative things and offensive words when they are hidden behind a computer screen. It is sad, but true.

[Snike]

Stake chat is full of monsters, controlled by emotions which got triggered by recent actions. You lose big amounts, you act that way on chat too. It's easy to say that you shouldn't be offended by something from an online person but it's harder than it sounds. 

[blueprints]

13 minutes ago, Snike said:

Stake chat is full of monsters, controlled by emotions which got triggered by recent actions. You lose big amounts, you act that way on chat too. It's easy to say that you shouldn't be offended by something from an online person but it's harder than it sounds. 

Very good point, I know when i bust i get very unstable and can get triggered by anything. But some people just get upset because someones being themselves. 

[Mikehoncho]

 

20 hours ago, Snike said:

controlled by emotions which got triggered by recent actions

This is an excellent point.

On 11/19/2018 at 11:13 PM, blueprints said:

I always wonder why people online let themselves get upset over something someone says or does online. To me It is just people online, they are not that significant in my life. Only times I see how someone should get upset with someone else is when there is somewhat of a real connection and relationship where trust and care is mutually exchanged, which i think is possible to develop! 

That leads to my next point. With how unpredictable and uncertain someones genuineness is due to lack of body language, expressions, and tone, I do not think these kind relationships should be made just carelessly or frequently. Not because you cant or dont want to or dont like the person but because its simply not wise to invest yourself with a person you have not personally met. To give power to people online over your mood or feelings is irrational. Im not saying dont be friendly or talk to anyone, im just saying have boundaries and dont let people get too close especially when you havent met them in person. 

I think if you have this kind of mindset then it literally wont matter what people write in the chatroom. If you avoid making yourself vulnerable by choosing carefully who and when to befriend someone and start caring, then you will be as unmoved and steadfast as a mountain. Only the words people i care about will have a significant impact on me, but if your not one of those people then dont bother trying to tell me what you think and feel towards me XD You'd be wasting your time. 

I use to think i should be friends with everyone! But after a couple counseling sessions i learned that I needed boundaries and ever since Ive been getting better at avoiding alot of pain and heartbreak with people, as well as cutting off negative influences, Though I cant cut off people/friends im close with(so im kinda forced to work through things) , I can avoid getting close with people that could have a bad influence (change me) and/or distract me from focusing on the relationships that matter the most to me. I dont want to be the person who ends up with nobody because every one turned out to be fake and then regret not having spent time with friends that really cared. 

But people online that you dont even know or met? Pfft there should not be a word they can write that should have enough weight to move a hair on your head. 

I'm not disagreeing with the topic of your post. 

I just wanted to say that I don't think meeting someone in person is a requisite for a real relationship. While we are more or less anonymous online, if you talk to someone enough, even if theyre untruthful about who they are, you can grow to care about that person. Your thoughts and emotions are in your mind.  You don't have to touch a person to love them.  

[Flan]

I'm not disagree with this but, let us talk about the Internet.

Internet are soooo enormously big! Many people are joined there, like million or billions numbers! They are online by anonymity, we can't know who is the person that controlled that account he/they have. Even tho, there were many people with different cultures, attitude, jobs. Can't says much about it, but we have a instinct to not trust people who you don't really know. They can may scam or even hack your account. It really difficult to trust people soo online, if the person was the right-side of you. I mean,if it was your friend in real life. 

So, the possibility to make everyone become friendly are very low. They comes from different backgrounds, we don't know what culture they have and we don't know the truth of his identity. Because their anonymously, they can make the identity fake. 

Anyway, many people was scammed from the internet. So, I don't really know if this will work well. All persons that heard that will not believe people so easily, and they keeps their anonymity.

[wngo123]

I don't care what people say in r/t why would I even bother what they say online 😂

[bmg]

some people like myself wanna think that there are people that are genuine and yes I can admit it i do on some level care what people say. i have known a lot of the players here for a few years and even though i cant see then in person i still have close bonds and friendships that are just as meaning full as if they wer here sitting right next to me. Blue you and i have had many chats and i consider you a friend because you dont change up when we talk .  anyway yes my point is that yes sometimes i let my feeling get the best of me and i get emotional at things people in chat say

[badger]

There are idiots everywhere Blue, unfortunately. And even worse, there are insecure idiots everywhere. 

[Dan]

I find its in situations with high volatility, such as these, that you can (more often than not) make some of the best of friends.

These emotional roller coasters are what its about being a human. Not just in this gambling environment, but in a lot of other areas in life. I do keep a position of gambling being a form of entertainment, and nothing more, so perhaps that mindset helps me keep a more levelled approach handling friendships in this community.

Thanks for the discussion @blueprints, i thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and totally agree on many aspects, but I also feel that being able to cope with all types of people is also a powerful strength to have. Sometimes even the most toxic of people in life have good qualities that can help improve you as a person with a little patience.