Is being self-aware a blessing or a curse?

[LachlanReid]

Hi,

So I've been asking this question for the past couple months since I became much more self-aware. I believe that with this new-found awareness, I've became much more self-critical, perhaps a little too much. 

I can see why self-awareness is a good thing, but when someone becomes so self-aware, they literally notice everything they do, even the bad stuff, and because of that it's really easy to beat yourself up about almost everything which I don't see as really healthy. 

I'm wondering if there is a way to find a balance of being self-critical but also self-praising. If anyone can give me tips on that, it would be amazing.

I've also become much more generally aware of everything around me, I see the good in the world but I also see the bad. The bad makes me feel sad because I know no matter what I do or the effort I put into it, I know I'm not gonna even come close to making a dent in this world. I guess what I'm saying is that existence is bittersweet. I think if I brought a child into this world, I'd hope that I bring him/her up well enough so that they don't ponder the same thoughts that rattle in my head everyday, I want them to see the good in the world, but I guess that has it's limitations.

 

Thoughts? I just felt like I needed to create some sort of discussion to help me make sense of things, I guess.

 

[wry]

More knowledge is good, so I would say it's axiomatic that self awareness is a good thing.

I think you are confounding two different things, your self awareness and your judgement of your actions.  It sounds to me like you are being very self critical, but if you are regretting the things you are doing it's a good thing that you are aware of them now so you don't keep doing them.

At the same time it serves no constructive purpose to ruminate on your prior actions you regret.  I've found a good guide is to ask yourself if someone else had done it to you, would you forgive them?  If the answer is yes, then forgive yourself, especially if you've done all you can to make amends. 

You cannot control the world, madness lies that way, hence the well known serenity prayer.  You don't have to be religious to see it has a core wisdom to it.

[LachlanReid]

2 minutes ago, wry said:

More knowledge is good, so I would say it's axiomatic that self awareness is a good thing.

I think you are confounding two different things, your self awareness and your judgement of your actions.  It sounds to me like you are being very self critical, but if you are regretting the things you are doing it's a good thing that you are aware of them now so you don't keep doing them.

At the same time it serves no constructive purpose to ruminate on your prior actions you regret.  I've found a good guide is to ask yourself if someone else had done it to you, would you forgive them?  If the answer is yes, then forgive yourself, especially if you've done all you can to make amends. 

You cannot control the world, madness lies that way, hence the well known serenity prayer.  You don't have to be religious to see it has a core wisdom to it.

I'm so happy there's people on the forum that give me insightful responses, It encourages me to vent off these thoughts more often here.

 

You're absolutely right, I think it's a good thing at my age to be asking these questions as it shows that I'm mentally maturing, I know I need to put more work into it, but I should definitely ease on the self-criticism, but it's easier said than done. 

For my short time on this earth, a lot has happened, my personality has been molded in so many ways but I'm happy that that's the case as I've become someone who has "wizened up". I've made thousands of mistakes but at least I'm mature enough to notice those mistakes. Through trial and error I've found myself, for I was lost most of my life. I believe the next step in my journey is to learn to love myself and be more lenient, everyone makes mistakes, but what sets the good and bad apart is the ability to learn from those said mistakes.

I appreciate and respect you for your response. 

[Dracos]

I think that the ability to be aware of oneself, and then criticize, analyze actions and actions, is very useful, self-knowledge carries self-development.