niki014 Posted June 21, 2019 #26 Posted June 21, 2019 did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? great food no atmosphere....
andra_gonn Posted June 25, 2019 #27 Posted June 25, 2019 — David, your ideas are like diamonds — You mean they are so valuable? — No, I mean they are so rare.
S1MPL3X Posted June 25, 2019 #28 Posted June 25, 2019 joke 1 : i met the guy who invented window cills joke 2 : my mates butlers left arm went missing serves him right joke 3 i bet you dont have a subject i havent got a joke about he said beevers i said damn
rajamishra Posted June 25, 2019 #29 Posted June 25, 2019 A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup. - Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?” - The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”
jianisniceyo Posted June 25, 2019 #30 Posted June 25, 2019 Whats the difference between math and meth? One destroys your life while the other is just drugs.
Olegator771 Posted July 7, 2019 #31 Posted July 7, 2019 As a child, my parents did not buy me anything, now I'm an adult. Now I'm able to afford not to buy anything! – Doctor, I'm afraid to treat teeth! I think it's better to give birth than to suffer the pain of a drill. Dentist: – Girl, well, you decide quicker so I know what seat to put! Strange creature – man. Hits because he loves. Fighting for peace. He works to get some rest. Drinks poison for health… 1 – You have to live every day like it's your last day! – That is, every morning to go to the notary to write a new will? 2 The blonde comes to the doctor. Doctor: Say "Ah." Small or big?
Rybak Posted July 23, 2019 #32 Posted July 23, 2019 There are two girlfriends of the French. One asks the other: - Honey, how did you spend the New Year? - Well, as always in bed ... - Yes?! And there were a lot of people?
Chimichanga Posted July 30, 2019 #34 Posted July 30, 2019 A new statue will be installed in Holland - a giggling boy
Rybak Posted August 4, 2019 #35 Posted August 4, 2019 Un brave homme trouve la mort dans un accident. Il se retrouve au purgatoire devant Saint-Pierre. La première chose qu’il voit c’est un mur très long où sont accrochées des horloges. Sous chaque horloge, des noms : Berlusconi, Blair, Obama, Poutine, Margaret. Il demande à Saint Pierre : «C’est curieux ces horloges? C’est quoi?» et Saint-Pierre répond : «C’est simple… Ce sont les horloges de leur vie! A chaque fois qu’ils disent une grosse connerie, l’horloge avance d’une heure en moins sur leur vie. Deux conneries, deux heures en moins et ainsi de suite.» «Ha, très bien, mais c’est curieux, je ne vois d’horloge avec Sarkozy ? Pourtant c’est un grand personnage aussi ?» Saint Pierre réfléchit, pensif. «Sarkozy? Ah, oui, Sarkozy. Je l’ai mise sur mon bureau, elle me sert de ventilateur!»
VIP Host Maja Posted August 10, 2019 VIP Host #36 Posted August 10, 2019 Here's the really stupid one: What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? “Oh sheet!”
bitcmaster Posted August 10, 2019 #37 Posted August 10, 2019 I'm laughing so much with this thread so please keep going like that ! ahaha
carlosxddd Posted August 10, 2019 #38 Posted August 10, 2019 What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? A. In a casino, you really mean it!
Steffie Posted August 15, 2019 #39 Posted August 15, 2019 Nice topic. It helps to relax a little. What’s the difference between an online casino and a live casino? – At an online casino, you can cry when you lose, and no one will laugh at you (old one) ^^
schturman Posted September 13, 2019 #41 Posted September 13, 2019 - I got up early this morning and ran to the park for a run, run, and aliens towards me. - Come on, I will never believe that you got up and ran in the morning. The boss hires a secretary: - Tell me, how well do you know English? That in response: - Yes, I know perfectly. This is my second mother tongue. Boss: - Wonderful. Then read in English my phone number is 666-3629 She says: - Sex sex sex free sex Tunite
Gray1 Posted September 14, 2019 #43 Posted September 14, 2019 You're a man anegdot, went to the wrong forum.
Noka1999_9991 Posted September 15, 2019 #44 Posted September 15, 2019 Putin’s helicopter crashes somewhere in Siberia. Only Putin survives, but he is injured. He is found by a local resident immersed in a cart and goes to heal. Dialogue between them: - Long to the hospital? “Half a day's journey to the nearest city with a hospital.” - Can you get there faster? - No way. The roads are blurred. So we’ll even get a day. “But are there no local hospitals?” - No. There was one. Yes, they just closed it due to lack of funding. Now here we go to the city. “Damn it, how do you live here?” - Now, Vladimir Vladimirovich, I’ll drag you home, turn on the first channel and you will see how well we live. Morning ... Husband to wife. . - Honey, make me this .... . Well, how is it .... well this one. . , - OK honey! After a while, a satisfied husband: - Yes, and figs with him, with this coffee!
LIPEI Posted September 15, 2019 #45 Posted September 15, 2019 An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: «woman without her man is nothing». The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: «Woman, without her man, is nothing.» The women wrote: «Woman! Without her, man is nothing.»
octopupus Posted September 15, 2019 #46 Posted September 15, 2019 What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean..
Aazzah Posted September 15, 2019 #47 Posted September 15, 2019 lol, some of these crack me up. XD ... I have one, I met the guy who invented window sills, What a ledge!!
schturman Posted September 16, 2019 #48 Posted September 16, 2019 Father and son at the zoo: - Dad, something the gorilla looked at us very evil ... - Wait, son, this is just the box office.
Remmik Posted September 16, 2019 #49 Posted September 16, 2019 the second joke just made me funny working with animals
ostarynin Posted September 16, 2019 #50 Posted September 16, 2019 On 6/19/2019 at 9:14 AM, zzfireboyzz said: A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, «If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.» He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, «If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero» The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, «If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.» The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, «If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.» Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, «What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?» The man said, «Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.» ahahahaha😂 😂
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